The County Ground is the headquarters of Gloucestershire County Cricket Club located in Bristol north of the City Centre. The grounds are conveniently situated just a short distance from the M32 with access to the M4 & M5. The grounds are now known as a highly rated venue for first class international cricket. The Bristol ground is the second largest playing area in England.
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Anyway on this particular summer's day he had passed my name on to a chap called John Gardner. John Gardner was a rich man who promoted and enjoyed cricket. I believe he actually paid for Worcestershire to go on a pre season foreign tour once. However he ran a cricket team aptly names FORK. This stood for ” Friends of the Right Kidney”. So on this day I was invited by John to turn out for his team against Esher Cricket Club during their cricket week.

This was indeed a privilege. So after whitening my boots and pads and pressing my whites I headed off down the A3 to Esher. 

By 10.30a.m. I arrived at their most pleasant ground in leafy Surrey. John Gardner was there to meet me. A bigger than life man in all dimensions. In fact someone once confided in me that when he was batting if you hit him in front it was LBW and if you hit him behind it was a wide. I was greeted with thestatement ” Wilfred Isaacs has sent two young South African cricketers down to play. Will you open with one- the other will go in No 3. Show them the ropes.” I cant be sure but I think these two young South Africans were Mike Procter and Barry Richards.

I therefore had a chance to return to the bar. By lunch we were 241-1 wicket. By now I was having a convivial time with other team members. Names I cant remember. 

One was a former captain of Northamptonshire who had turned up with everything but his Zimmer frame. whether it was his health or the Lanson Black Label he found it difficult to walk and when we fielded stayed in one place throughout the fielding period.

Another was one of the Cheeseman family. Very wealthy with a Lamborghini filled with beautiful girls. I think he parked the car with him at second slip. He played for Berkshire I was informed.

There was a thin Thespian with shaking hands. In fact he told me he went to the doctor over this problem. The doctor asked him if he drank and he replied ” Not much I keep spilling it.” It was obvious he was going to be at first slip.

Then there was Gardner himself. When we fielded the ball would roll under him and he would stamp and ask if had stopped it. 

Esher C.C. was famous for its Port after lunch. I remember having a convivial lunch of claret and port with Esher’s wicket-keeper- a chap called Marques- who had played Rugby for England. Then to a comfortable deck-chair to sleep off the excellent lunch.
I believe we had declared with some telephone number of a score and Procter and Richards still batting. Now Fork took to the field.

The ex-Northampton captain stood at either silly mid -on or off depending on which end was bowling. The man with shaking hands was at first slip, John Gardner was at second, third and fourth slip with a bottle of Lanson at gully. Cheeseman seemed to appear to bowl but never to field.  There was a character wearing an Oxford University Blue sweater who didn't seem to have much of a clue. All he seemed to do was polish the ball and give it to the umpire, we later found out that his blue was for marbles.

To cap it one of the Esher batsmen, with the thickest pair of glasses I've ever seen, when asked by the umpire if he wanted to take guard uttered ” No thanks I've played here before.” But the piece de resistance was the player with the wooden leg. Whilst coming up to bowl  his wooden leg got caught in one of those holes from which the pitch is watered. It took two engineers and a doctor over twenty minutes to free him from this position.

After the game Gardner asked me to put my name and details in his address book for future reference. The details on the line above were those of one E.R.Dexter. That was the nearest I ever got to the big time. I was never invited again.